


Ps. I like you man.

by orphan_account



Category: Eureka (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, Mutual Pining, a lot of swearing, that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day and everyone is happily dating someone, except for Fargo and Zane. Instead of just being okay with being single they decide to mess up everyone else’s day cause they’re little bitches.
Relationships: Zane Donovan/Douglas Fargo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Ps. I like you man.

**Author's Note:**

> Also this is a hogwarts au but I know literally nothing about hogwarts besides the houses lol. This is why we shouldn’t let the fanfic version M.A.S.H. pick the au.

Valentine’s Day, the day where new love begins, current relationships blossom, and the day single people hate the most. Most schools plaster hearts everywhere and hang up promotional posters for candy grams and things of those sorts. However, Hogwarts was no ordinary school. There were a few hearts hung up within the school corridors but nothing was too crazy. 

People were still very lovey dovey of course. Earlier a brilliant slytherin student by the name of Henry deacon completely embarrassed himself by singing a song to his crush, Grace Monroe. Henry didn’t care much about making a fool of himself because his plan worked, he and grace were now dating, and they were adorable together.

Of course the lovely Allison Blake was with her boyfriend majority of the day. Even though she could have any guy she wants she decided to stick with her stupid gryfindor boyfriend, Jack Carter. Those two were also very cute together but everyone wondered how someone so stupid could end with one of the smartest students at the school.

So many lovebirds wandered around holding hands and exchanging gifts, but Douglas Fargo was alone like a loser. Two years ago the hufflepuff would have spent this day with his girlfriends Holly Marten, but Holly Marten was dead and there was nothing Fargo could do about it. Two years ago Fargo lost his beloved girlfriend in the battle for hogwarts, he was a mess afterwards. Thankfully, he recovered after a while but a part of his heart still rested with her. The rest of his heart was open for anyone but no one seemed to want it. 

Despite his numerous attempts to find love Fargo couldn’t seem to hold onto anyone for long enough, except for one person. He constantly tries to deny it but he had started developing a crush on his best friend. It’s alway been there but he didn’t realize until last year that he felt a little more than platonically for his dear friend. Fargo was never going to admit it, but he grew a bit too fond of the snarky ravenclaw.

Fargo was lost in his thoughts while he was slumped against the wall, so he didn’t hear the footsteps that came closer to him. 

“Hey sweet thang.” A voice came from next to him sounding a bit too mocking.

Fargo didn’t even have to look over, he knew it was the ravenclaw that he’d grown close to over the years.

“Shut up, Zane.” Fargo snarled.

Fargo looked over and saw the ravenclaw in question towering over him with that stupid, cheeky grin.

Zane rested his arm on Fargo’s head and laughed, “don’t be like that, Douglas fucko!”

“Come on,” Fargo hissed, while trying to swat away Zane’s arm, “that doesn’t even sound like my name!”

“I know that’s why I love calling you that, it always pisses you off.”

“Shouldn’t you be off making out with Jo instead of messing with me?!”

The ravenclaw finally took his arm away from the hufflepuff’s head and shoved his hands in his pockets. He looked away from Fargo and let out a sigh.

Zane and Jo’s relationship was constantly on and off. One week they’d be all over each other and the next they couldn’t be farther apart. Recently they had a big fight, bigger than usual. They’ve been on hold for a month now and Zane has kind of lost interest in Jo Lupo. Obviously he still has some feelings for her but not as much as he used to.

“I think me and Jo are over,” Zane started, “like over over.”

“Oh, sorry man.” Fargo muttered.

“It’s whatever, I don’t really care that much anymore.” Zane shrugged.

More couples kept passing by holding hands and giggling to each other. Fargo and Zane could barley stand to look at all the happy couples while they were just some lonely losers. Little bitch babies.

“Hey you wanna go fuck some shit up?” Zane asked.

“That’s a little broad,” Fargo giggled, “mind expanding on the statement?”

“I dunno like steal people’s chocolates when they’re not looking, just kind of screwing up people’s Valentine’s Day.” Zane suggested.

“That’s evil, even for you, Zane.”

“Yeah I know I’m just bored.”

“Y’know maybe we can screw with Parrish, he deserves it.”

Isaac Parrish was a world class jerk and just an all round dickhead. Basically everyone hated him, especially Fargo. When they were in a room together it was never pretty, and not just because they’re both ugly as hell.

Zane snorted and started walking away, Fargo following him from close behind. They went off to find Parrish and try to make his day horrible, he needed some of his own medicine.

They eventually found Parrish outside of the school with a box of chocolates sticking out of his bag. Parrish has an ugly smug look on his face; Fargo wanted to just go up there and punch the smirk right off him but he knew he’d get his ass beat.

Zane took out his wand and muttered, “Wingardium Leviosa.”

The box of chocolates started levitating away from Parrish and conveniently floated behind the wall where Fargo and Zane just happened to be. Of course, Parrish noticed that the box of chocolates that were once in his possession were no longer there, but by the time he went to find them Fargo and Zane already bolted away.

The pair spent the rest of their day messing with Parrish, also stopping to mess with this annoying kid named Larry from time to time. They were having fun wrecking havoc. It’s definitely not morally correct and if any teacher found out they’d be in big trouble, but the two didn’t really care. The two had spent the whole day together having fun and that’s what mattered to them. In a weird twisted way it was almost like they were each other’s valentines.

A bit after dinner the two had wandered of together to a grove of trees, they sat down and leaned against a giant tree that was there. They sat closer to each other than most friends did but they didn’t really care. They were alway like that, some even made jokes about that being soulmates, but the pair would always laugh it off while secretly wishing that they were.

Zane rummaged around in his bag to find something but instead pulled out the box of chocolates that they had stolen.

“Yo, you want one, Douglas?” Zane offered.

“Hell yeah!” Fargo chuckled.

Zane opened the box and Fargo immediately grabbed a chocolate and popped it into his mouth, Zane followed suit. They just say there eating chocolates, hands so close to Intertwining but never doing so. Once they had finished the whole box it was about time to head back to their rooms for the night. 

Zane got up and offered his hand to Fargo, who gladly took it. Zane then gracefully bowed down and kissed Fargo hand.

“Have a good night, Douglas Fucko!” Zane yelled while walking away.

Fargo stood there and looked at his hand. He was red in the face and just standing there. He didn’t know what else to do so he just started walking to the hufflepuff house; still staring at his hand and remembering what happened.

He shoved one of his hands in his pocket and felt something. A folded piece of paper! He unfolded and the page was covered in magic/witch related pick up lines. Fargo couldn’t help but laugh as he read over them all. At the bottom of the paper was a message: 

I hope your Valentine’s Day was good, sweet thang! From your favorite asshole (Zane).  
Ps. I like you man.


End file.
